[opening theme song]
Would somebody please cue that bird?
♪ Samurai pizza cats Oooh yeah!♪
♪ Who do you call when you want Some pepperoni?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza cats♪
♪ They're stepping out crime♪
♪ And you know That ain't baloney♪
♪ There's Speedy Cerviche, He's the leader of the bunch♪
♪ A heck of a fighter Makes a heck of a lunch♪
♪ And little Polly Esther Who's never afraid♪
♪ Of going into battle When the bad guys invade♪
♪ Here's Guido Anchovis, A wild romantic rover♪
♪ This cat gets down, down With a love hangover♪
♪ Here come the Pizza Cats They're so bad♪
♪ They've got more fur than any Turtle ever had!♪
♪ They're stronger Than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than dirt♪
♪ Stronger than dirt ♪
♪ Step on their tails♪
♪ Get off of my tail ♪
♪ And you're gonna get hurt♪
♪ Don't hurt me ♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime All over town!♪
♪ Three, two, one, Pizza Cats are on the run!♪
♪ The Big Cheese is the villain, Who's lower than low♪
♪ It's a rotten shame He lives in Little Tokyo♪
♪ We've got a nasty Bad Bird And some nasty Ninja Crowes♪
♪ As soon as someone Finds the script♪
♪ We might begin the show♪
♪ Sit right back, Pick up your feet♪
♪ And turn the sound up high♪
♪ And if you want the full effect go eat a pizza pie!♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
[narrator] The headquarters of the big business association
and long chicken croquette league.
There is tension in the air
as three of four reports of strange noises in the building
have flooded in.
The association has posted a night watchmen
with nerves of steel.
Me and my big mouth. "Sure, I'll be a watchmen."
Why didn't I go into the tie business with my uncle
when he asked me?
[creaking]
Bumps in the night?
Who goes there? Hello?
Oh.
[yells]
Then again, library work is nice!
[Vi] No! I'm fed up! No, no, no, no!
No more. I mean it!
Ex-nay on the other king-nay!
But princess, what will happen to the monarchy?
The monarchy is only a figure head, and we both know it.
I don't want to be a figure head when I grow up!
Never mind that. You still need a good education.
We'll find a new tutor. Even schedule recess if you want.
Be reasonable--
I certainly won't stand for much more of this humiliation.
[yelling]
Oh? Daddy, save me!
-Sir. -Oh, Daddy. It's horrible.
He wants me to pay attention so I can grow up to be titular.
[babbling]
Just great.
A real-life, make-believe emperor
who think he's a scat singer.
Well, at least I've got a good dental plan.
All I want is a companion, a playmate.
A loyal friend who will make me laugh now and then.
Loyalty? How do kids think these things up?
[sneezing]
Hey, that was absolutely disgusting.
That sneeze probably means that Lucille was talking about me.
Yep, time for a sn--
Hey, bub, that was a perfectly good pineapple pizza
before you went and ruined it.
Not to worry. I'll put all my favorite ingredients on it,
and eat the whole thing myself.
Rhubarb looks especially appealing during this time,
but couldn't use more catnip?
Moderation and all things.
[laughing] -We're out!
Okay, we'll forget about the catnip.
'Cause you ate it all!
That will linger.
The square of the hypothenuse times the circumference,
divided by pie...
Alright, that's it. Now I really am completely fed up.
It's utterly crummy being an 18-year-old burnout.
Can anyone in this room think of a funny story to tell me?
I got one for you, your highness.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Tell me why.
World travel.
Summon the joke police!
I guess you had to be there.
Anyone else got a funny story to tell?
[all muttering]
You figure now would be a good
time to mention that other business?
Those peculiar goings on
are making my constituents mighty nervous.
My distinguished colleague, I would like to know, sir.
What in the world it was that terrified the bananas
off that guard last night?
Chased him out of the building, did it?
What do you know of this?
[chuckles]
I don't know why you're asking me about it.
But I heard that some fools actually think there's a ghost.
Really? A ghost in the wall?
I want to meet that poltergeist.
Perfect. Now she wants to meet a ghost.
[narrator] Later that night, mysterious event are taking
place in the headquarters of the big business association
and office for the advancement of the hopelessly stupid.
[machines running]
How's the work on the carousel progressing?
Well, enough. But I still don't understand.
Don't understand the purpose
of a carousel that moves all of Little Tokyo?
It's obvious.
If the city is constantly spinning round and round,
the citizens will always be off balance and dizzy,
and I can bring them under my power.
I get it now, but there's a monkey wrench in the ointment.
Monkey wrench?
The men are putting in 22 hours a day,
and by midnight, they're pooped.
Perhaps a late-night snack will cheer them up.
Got something in mind?
I found this on my door knob.
It says they deliver pizza 24
hours a day within three minutes.
It would nourish them, and make them work faster.
With your permission, I'll call this joint and place an order.
What a splendid idea.
I give it my whole-hearted support.
Of course, it will all come out of your pocket.
What?
[phone rings]
Pizza Cats. Your order's in the oven.
Let's see if I got this straight,
you want three dozen extra-large pizzas delivered
to the big business association building at midnight.
Your name, please?
Mr. Jerry Atric?
Uh, he'll be there. Just leave a light in the window for him.
Hey, what's Atric feeding? A battalion?
He's up to some funny business. You can count on that.
This will work out great.
Here's our chance to check out
those strange noises in the building at night.
You suppose it's another Big Cheese plot?
It wouldn't surprise me at all.
And if it is, the Samurai Pizza Cats
will expose it. Let's get me over there quick.
[Francine] Good evening, shoppers.
The Pizza Cats proudly announce the delivery
of more hot, delicious pizzas to our clientele.
In the interest of public safety,
please keep all ping pong balls
out of the chandeliers when not in use,
and clip those coupons.
And always remember to test your buzzers
at least twice a month.
Some assembly inquired for it were inhabited.
State and local batteries not included. Thank you.
Here goes.
Mom, is that what sociologists mean by upwardly mobile?
No, dear. That's a spy satellite for keeping an eye on congress.
Time to put the old eye ball on my objective.
[cheering]
Man, that's one ugly girl!
Mr. Cheese.
You were expecting Ann Margaret?
Uh, what's with the get up?
Road company of Greece.
I got Olivia Newton John's part, okay by you?
[both] Yuck.
Seventy eight fifty.
Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to pick up those elegant pizza
travel packs.
Pick them up later.
Uh, I've got no problem with that.
Why don't I just leave them here, and pick them up later?
See ya.
-The exit's that way. -Gotcha. Thanks.
That kid's so dim, he couldn't find his way
out following a trail of sausages.
[narrator] With cat-like treads, Speedy begins
to search the premises. He seeks out every little crook
and nanny. Uh, knack and croony.
Frank and noony. Noon and cracky.
-Knacky, noony, cracker-- -You mean nook and cranny.
Yeah, sure. That's easy for you to say.
Anyway, you get the point. But just in case you didn't,
[Vi] Reach partner!
I deliver pizzas. Hey, you're Princess Violet.
What are you doing down here?
The catacombs can be hazardous.
You're going to be my escort.
Me? And escort?
[giggles]
You're kind of cute.
This is going to be more fun than I've had in a long time.
Huh? What do I do now? We didn't rehearse this scene.
I'm a princess, and you have to do whatever I say.
Let's see what excitement we can scare up.
Samurai humiliation 101.
Huh?
Could that be the ghost?
It's just your imagination.
You know what, you got a great imagination.
'Cause I see it too!
You guys need a ride?
[yelling]
[laughing]
This is really fun!
Run for it!
[narrator] At this point, I should bring you up to date
on what's happening in our story.
The only problem is, I can't figure it out myself.
Obviously, Speedy and Princess Violet
are in big trouble.
But the writer of this script is going to be in even bigger
trouble when the producer sees this episode.
Yeah, well, let's see what happens next.
[both yelling]
I'm beginning to get the feeling that this whole show
is going down the drain.
You know, of course, that this is bound to show up as a ride
in the Pizza Cats theme park.
Wow. It's nifty making a new friend.
Do you have this much fun all the time?
Twice on Sundays. Huh?
What a sprinkler system!
Adventure! Adventure!
Then at the last moment, the hero in the white hat
thought of a way to save the beautiful maiden. Didn't he?
It's what I had in mind when I got up this morning.
Now, we're just going to have to bust our way out of here.
A papier-mâché wall.
Weird swimming pool.
Can't pin point his location, Francine?
I'm trying, Polly.
I sure don't like the look of this.
Hey, the dude is probably taking a nap somewhere.
A pal of ours is in trouble, pal!
We're on our way, pal!
[laughing] -Love your sense of humor!
Man, there's got to be an easier way to make a living than this!
You're so heroic like Sean Connery.
What? Oh, yeah. A lot of people get the two of us mixed up.
This must be what that bug was trying to keep us from.
I've seen basement furnaces, but this is ridiculous.
This is undoubtedly another insidious invention,
courtesy of Big Cheese and his allies.
You mean there's villainy afoot?
Yeah, and to make matters worse, somebody around here
is up to no good.
[beeping]
Oh.
What's the matter?
My energy pack is spent.
I'll have to switch to the auxiliary pack and quick
before that bug finds us again.
What? Where--It was--
I didn't bring my auxiliary energy pack!
[gears turning]
Wow, it works.
Look out!
Yow!
Wow. Thank goodness for cat's eye.
Huh?
This is a restricted area.
We don't like nobody dropping in, so drop out!
No surprise visitors, get it?
Okay, next time, I'll call first.
Get your foot off my friend!
I'm a princess, and you have to do whatever I say.
You heard what I said!
I don't take orders from you.
Time for the cavalry. Oh!
[gasps] Oh, no!
There's the alarm. That pizza delivery must have gone wrong.
What's his location?
I can't tell, Guido.
Well, he can't be in two place at once.
Unless he's in two pieces. Let's go find him.
Okay!
-Good luck. -Thanks!
Sure.
Good evening, shoppers. Once again, by popular demand,
the Pizza Cats take pleasure in entertaining you
with their high-rate delivery service
and sparkling humor.
For your safety and hours, please keep your hands
securely in your pockets.
Ladies in the front row will kindly remove their hats.
Thank you.
Mom, would it be okay if I put a canon like that in my room?
Of course, dear. Just promise me you won't be a lawyer
when you grow up.
I prefer to make an honest living.
[Francine] It isn't that I don't have complete confidence
in their abilities, but this looks big.
Bat Cat. Ready for a special job?
Go help Polly and Guido.
Hey, you just point that pop gun and I'm on my way
wherever you need me.
[Francine] Three, two, one.
[narrator] Bat Cat is the super dude
we call upon when the situation gets so heavy,
that even the writers can't figure out a solution.
By the way kids, don't try this stunt at home.
Remember, these are professional cartoon characters.
[yelling]
Might be Saturday for poker as usual.
You bet.
[groaning]
I hate it when this happens!
You okay, kiddo?
Nothing a pizza wouldn't fix?
Guido, give Speedy the auxiliary
energy pack we brought along for him.
-I forgot to bring it. -What?
Then you guys are going to have to protect the princess.
Sometimes you take the cake.
Would you please see to it that Speedy gets home, Bat Cat?
Yes, ma'am.
Hey, you two.
Unless you got pizza travel packs,
you're in for major trouble.
We'll take care of that other little runt later. Attack!
[yelling]
[groans]
Let's see how you handle this!
Rats! Now what?
No!
Oh, not that!
I guess Pizza Cats and shaving cream don't mix, huh?
[narrator] But there's more at stake here
than a shaved cat.
Whoa!
[groans]
Stay thy hand, villain. Be not proud.
I rebuke thee with the powers of anchovies paste
on tomato puree.
[narrator] Ah-hah! Now we're really going to see
something exciting.
And I think it's about time, don't you?
But remember kids, tell all you're friends you saw it here
on Samurai Pizza Cats!
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
Now for the big finish!
Yow!
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
Pizza Cats triumph again!
[both] Yeah!
-Huh? -What?
What's all this about?
[chattering]
Big Cheese, I demand an explanation.
Me? I, uh--
Don't deny it!
Big Cheese, if you're behind this, you better come clean.
You know what can happen when I get annoyed.
Oh, dear. I'm afraid you discovered my surprise.
What surprise?
Well, that is--I mean--
To amuse the princess,
I was constructing an underground
amusement park.
But we don't have to call it 'Cheese Land'.
You mean, rides and stuff?
Yeah. Lots of rides.
Oh, well, in that case, okay.
Just make sure it's ready by the end of the week.
Now, why didn't I think of that?
Who cares? Just think of the fun we'll have!
Curses! Curses! Of all the rotten luck!
Turning my evil scheme into an amusement park,
I can't stand it.
Calm down, your grace.
You're starting to overload.
[crackling]
Yipe. Serves you right, you twit.
[narrator] And so, once again,
the forces of truth, justice,
and the best pizza in Little Tokyo
triumph over Seymour Cheese's nefarious scheme.
And the citizens can face the day with confidence
in their champions,
the Samurai Pizza Cats.
That's us, gang!
Pizza power!
On the next--
Pizza Cats!
[narrator] A man claiming to be a talent agent
visits Polly and Lucille. And promises to make them stars.
They jump at the chance and decide to pursue
singing careers and leave the restaurant business.
Guido and Speedy are shocked by this,
and begin an argument
that threatens to break up the Pizza Cats.
Of course, things are not all they seem.
The agent is really Bad Bird, who is carrying out another
evil plan to destroy our heroes.
Will someone put my tongue back in my mouth?
As the girls sing before a packed house,
their microphones emit a hypnotic tone,
which causes the audience to fall into Cheese's control,
so he can use them to provide the power for an invasion
of the town.
Will the Big Cheese finally take over Little Tokyo?
Will the Pizza Cats break up for good?
Will Polly change her name to Polly Wood,
and become a back-up singer for Madonna?
Look for the answers to these and other important questions
in Singing Samurai Sensation
on the next Samurai Pizza Cats.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Samurai Pizza Cat fan club oath.
The Pizza Cats are samurai,
and I'd like to note:
their antics take your breath away
like fur balls in your throat.
We kittens are a special breed.
We never call a retreat.
Whenever Big Cheese knocks us down,
we land upon our feet.
[narrator] So hail to thee, oh, Pizza Cat.
Please ring your little bell.
Although you may be pen and ink,
-we know you'll fight like-- -Pizza Cats!
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ We hope you liked the show,♪
♪ it's the best That we could do♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ If you could do better, Then we'd leave it up to you♪
♪ Just a reminder, You might like to know♪
♪ The cats will be back For another big show♪
Oh, gosh.
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime Oh, yes♪
♪ All over town♪
♪ Two, four, six, eight♪
♪ Why do we expectorate?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
Read all the credits so you'll know who did the work.
♪ Samurai Pizza cats♪